Saturday, December 27, 2008

Feeling Logy

Many people have asked me how I am feeling. This question comes from a position of concern and curiosity. Although I have heard from those that have been through lymphoma chemo (lymphemo) and we compared notes so far, the first striking thing that you learn is that it is a very personal journey. There are very few established norms, namely the hair loss, but some people don't lose it all. The effects you may have heard about appear to be resolved by modern chemo techniques but the medical staff goes to great lengths to make sure you understand EVERYTHING that could possibly go down. I may amend this observation down the line but so many anecdotes online support the notion of lymphemo as a nuisance. Despite the hours of introducing cancer killing medication into my system, when friends ask, "How are you doing?", I want to say, "I'm feeling logy" I'm just a little off. Cautious eating, lots of water, quick catnaps have all added up to a strange fogginess that I hope to stave off with daily walks as opposed to a run up to the corner store for a low-carb Monster.
I'm also working hard to accept help from family and friends. Laurie and her mother have orchestrated a Ty Penningtonesque descent on the Timberlane Farm ranch house. I hope to see the progress today but we all felt it best for me to seek refuge from particulate matter at my parent's home while the old carpet is removed. A fresh coat of white paint will grace the bedroom giving it a rest from the infamous lemon/maroon scheme. I owe much to everyone already for the gifts of time and concern...I'm less than a week into my 18 week journey.


  1. Paul,

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep up the fight and the strong attitude and you will surely beat this thing.

    -Ed Forgeron

  2. Hello Paul,

    I am sending you all my thoughts, hopes and prayers from Germany. I just got Lauries mail. I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I wish you all the best, expecailly strength and always good faith!! Miriam

  3. Hi Paul,

    Many of us, boarders, students and employees alike, have been inspired by your blog to dig deeper into ourselves to find courage to match your own. The first day I read your posts was late at night on the 23rd. Your insightful writing made me see with chagrin that I'd been reduced to a blob of jello by the unfolding news and turmoil of the prior two weeks, while you, the principle party, had the presence of mind and bravery to tackle this thing head on! Your words quickly put the starch back into one Cowardly Lion.

    I took your teaching one step further and applied it here at home. There is no comparison, of course, but Tim, Darcie and I have just made it through three days of Norovirus, the stomach flu from hell, made easier, at least for me, by trying to emulate your approach. And, when coming up for air, I would check in with Mr Lymphoma for updates, because, most of all, my thoughts and heart have been with you and Laurie and the kids.

    You have a congregation of caregivers at the ready, so prepare to be pampered!

    -Debbie PS Don't worry, I'm staying away from Timberlane until well after the contagious period expires!

  4. Paul,
    I don't know if you are on one already,but if you aren't I highly recommend using a good multi-vitamin. Ever since I have started taking one I have had a ton more energy and able to keep my mind clear and foucused (I was having a hard time with a foggy mind too).


  5. Hello Paul,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Laurie, and the kids. Mom told me about your blog. It makes you stop, think, and remember. Stay strong.

    All our love,

    Shelley, Graham, Trevor, and Emma
    The Texas Cousins